I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
