he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
