yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
