I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
