Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
