You work out of a Hotel?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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