so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
