you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
