Grow some girl-balls and come out already
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
