there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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