it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
