Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
