i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
