THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
