Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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