Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
