your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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