Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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