dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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