Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
