guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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