Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
