Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
