There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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