well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
