He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
