if you like me you must not know who I am
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i already hear my dad disowning me
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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