That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
