One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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