it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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