he shaved USA in his pubs
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Houston, we have a squirter
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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