he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
