Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I am mentally ready for anal.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
