I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
