no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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