You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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