the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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