I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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