3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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