So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
