My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
two words: eviction party
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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