You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
