3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I didn't notice because vodka
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize