This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
