Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You are a genius and a whore.
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