Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
