Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
