my sisters under your porch take her home
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
