you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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