i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
