I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
