I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
