nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
