i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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