I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
