I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize