I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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