upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
