I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
