my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
