so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize