Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
