super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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