Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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