My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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