Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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