may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
