He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
