Will you blow on my dice?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
