doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
