Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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