Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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