I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize