He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
