You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
