He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
