ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
