Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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